All the Little Lights
by Msweeney1997
Summary: A young teen is helped through some unexpected hardships by the cast of Pitch Perfect and may just make some friends along the way. Trigger Warning: abuse and self harm/eating disorders in future chapters. Will be a full fledged fic! Tell me what you think, please R
1. Ch 1: Hearts are sad and eyes are tired

**Greenwich, CT**

_My POV_

I put the book I've been trying to read for the past hour down. I don't understand why I need to learn the "classics". They should know by now that I'll never read the book. I'll just look up the Sparknotes version the day before the test. The Scarlet Letter. I've gotten the general idea, it just doesn't make any sense to me. So what? She had sex with the minister. She thought her husband left her. He was an evil man anyway. Plus Pearl seems so cute. Ugh what am I saying. I'm becoming such a softy. No. I will not be weak. I really haven't had any inclination to do... anything since last year.

I wrote Pitch Perfect my sophomore year and ever since then my parents have been collecting the money I've made. That I've earned. They keep telling me "I'll get it when I'm older and am more responsible" blah blah blah.'' Bullshit. They couldn't care less. They're just excited college won't cost as much. If I even make it that far...

I was never the "it" girl. I had friends, sure, but everyone has friends in middle school. It wasn't until I got to high school when I "found myself" as some would say. I was class treasurer freshman and sophomore year and am the vice president this year, my junior year. I'm in the Key Club, National and Spanish Honor Society. I play three sports and I'm always heading or involved in one of our community service projects. I wasn't always like that though.

In seventh and eighth grade there were these girls who constantly belittled me and made me think that there was something wrong with me. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I still don't. It wasn't until high school that I knew what real friends were. I don't know what happened during those two years but I all I know now is that I can't trust anyone.

6:00am

_Ughhhhh, I really don't want to go to school_ I think as I check my clock.

Typical, my own father doesn't even wake me up when I should have been out of the shower by now. Well it's too late now. I throw the covers off and find a clean long sleeve from my closet. I grab my backpack and make my way down the stairs. I glance at some bagels in the pantry before opting out on breakfast. I figure if I don't eat anything my body can't miss much. Shit. I have track practice I remember as I pull into the student parking lot. I'll just stop home before it starts.

School goes on much like a normal day. The only slightly exciting news I got today was that Caitlin has devised a plan to get Sean to ask me to prom in the way that I'm 'supposed to be asked.'

Practice was uneventful. We ran our typical first day of practice route. I could feel the effects of an empty stomach but I'm sure I'll get used to it in a few days. I just have to lose a little fat off my stomach.

5:30pm

Dinner was even less exciting if you can believe it. My mom called saying she was going out for dinner and would be home late. Shocker. My dad was planted in front of the TV, all too confident that dinner would be handed to him in exactly one hour.

I thumbed through some cookbooks before deciding that mac'n cheese would be safest on a day like today. As I handed him his food he got angry that I gave him a spoon instead of a fork and slapped me. It stung but I'll get over it. One thing I learned early on was that tears are for the weak. They just make things worse. Maybe I deserve it. I should have known mac'n cheese was eaten with a fork.

I run back and hand him a fork, quick to get away and feed my little sister Emma. She's the only one I care about. She knows I love her and yet I can't seem to tell her enough. She's never seen me get hit but I think she knows. She's smart enough not to say anything, although I know she wants to. She knows we'll be split apart, forced into the system and we know we don't want that. I can handle a few beatings to avoid being torn apart from Emma.

I wash the dishes, put his glass and bottle away and check Emma's homework before sending her upstairs for a shower and to get ready for bed_._ I tell Emma goodnight and that I love her, before I lock myself in my room. I sit and think about what I'll tell him tomorrow when he asks what happened to me. We both know what really happened but of course we both have important roles to play in this farce. He is the loving, perfect father, and I must make sure that no one can suspect the truth.

After a while, I settle on the story that my cousin Mason threw a baseball at me when I wasn't looking.

_"You will not talk back to me young lady" *slap* "yes sir"_

The first time he hit me I promised I would never let it happen again. It was a nice thought, but reality has a way of forcing thoughts to remain just that. Thoughts.

The next time it happened, he whispered in my ear that as long as I kept my mouth shut, Emma would be safe. It seemed like a small price for Emma's safety, and so I kept my mouth shut. It still didn't save her from his verbal abuse and screams but he kept his part of the deal and I have kept mine.

School these past few weeks has gone smoothly. No one asked any questions and I didn't need to explain myself. Emma got perfect A's on her report card. I didn't do quite as well (5 A's, 2 B's) and receive a beating for that but promised to do much better and got off easier. I'm even starting to enjoy classes since I've been understanding the material. My friends and I joke around more and I've been feeling a little less lonely. I still can't explain some of the things I feel and how sad, how angry, and disappointed I get, but I manage to shrug it off.

Who am I to complain? Emma is safe. I'm getting better grades and my parents are too busy at the moment to care.

A/N: Thanks so much to Lackluster Brilliance for helping me get started! She is a brilliant writer and I encourage you to read her work, it's inspiring! Tell me what you think of mine!


	2. Ch 2: When the torch light thins

A/n: Thanks to those who read and reviewed, it literally made my day so much better! Also, I forgot a disclaimer in the first chapter so here it is.

Disclaimer: I don't own Pitch Perfect or any of their characters.

Fuck. I really need to set an alarm. Why do I always screw up? I haven't been able to keep a relationship, ever. My grades are slipping. I feel like shit and look worse. I can't seem to do anything right.

Ugh! I never know when these days are going to strike, but when they do, everything sucks. Sometimes I can't control myself and I'm just so mean to everyone around me. Why do I have to be such a bitch? I usually regret about 90 percent of what comes out of my mouth on days like this. The weird thing is, it comes on completely unannounced, like a deer bounding onto the street on a dark night, and I know what I'm doing to myself and everyone around me, yet no matter what I do, I can't seem to stop it.

I better get my shit together by tomorrow. I do NOT need to stress others out with my inability to control what I say. The first time it happened I was 13. I guess I wasn't in the mood and neither were my parents. It was Easter and I was NOT wearing a dress. Of course I just had to make things more difficult and "slip" in some mud the morning of. I wound up wearing pants that day but probably not for the reasons I expected.

_"Let's go Morgan". Great, of course I manage to screw up Easter. I think as I feel the first of many punches. I drop to my hands and knees as I feel a foot connecting with my right side. Emma. She's all I think about for the next half hour. As long as I'm here, she isn't. She isn't getting hit. She isn't getting yelled at, being told she's worthless and a waste of life. I get up and am told to shower. As I step underneath the warm water I see the remnants of dried blood flowing down the drain. I better shave now, who knows when the next time I'll actually get a hot shower._

_Fuck. Red starts seeping down my leg. I grab a washcloth. I'm surprised, it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would. I slowly look at the razor in front of me. I sit on the side of the tub, shower still running as I gently place the blade on my upper thigh. I gasp as I run it horizontally across my right and then again on my left. *knock* *knock* Shit I better finish getting dressed._

I always thought therapists and psychologists were over-rated. I never understood why people needed them. Now look at me. Standing here debating whether or not I should go see my school shrink. I just wish I could talk to someone. I wish someone could see behind my walls and broken smile. Well, most people don't care enough. They see what I show them, and never bother to look just a little closer. Though I don't blame them. Who would really want to see something broken? It's so much easier to look at someone and assume everything's fine. But then again, when they look at me, there is nothing to alert them of my inner turmoil. I'm getting good grades, Sean's the perfect boyfriend, and I made it onto the All-State cross country banner at school and will most likely be Student Body president next year. Not to mention every time my family is together in public, we're the epitome of family values.

Luckily the phone rang, startling me out of my pathetic trance of self-wallowing.

"Hello?_"_ I say into the receiver.

"Hi, yes, is this Miss Sweeney? Morgan?" A slightly familiar voice asked as I thought of what to say next.

"Th-this is she. May I ask who's calling?" I ask tentatively.

"Oh yes, of course!" a cheerful voice responds. "I'm Elizabeth Banks calling on behalf of my husband, Kay Cannon and Jason Moore."

Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. "Oh! Hi sorry I just wanted to make sure I wasn't being pranked or anything. It's really you?" I suddenly realize how lame and star struck I sound.

"Sorry. Um yeah sorry, wha-what can I do for you?" God she must think I'm retarded or something.

I can hear voices on the other end of the line and wonder if this is really happening. I get cut off when another voice starts speaking. "Hello?"

"Yes"

"Ahh, there we go. Yes, hello Morgan! My name's Max. I married the woman you just talked to. We've recently read Pitch Perfect and absolutely loved it. We think it has the potential to be a really fantastic movie!" Movie? Did he just say movie? "So what do you think?"

Dead silence.

Movie? This has to be some practical joke. There's no way this is happening. Pitch Perfect wasn't that great...I hear a throat being cleared.

"Oh! Yeah sorry, jeez sorry for making you wait so long, I was just thinking. Um yeah sure. That's fine. I didn't really think much would come from the book so this is cool." _Pull your fucking self together_ "So what do you need from me?"

"Well, first we need your written consent." I hear Elizabeth say. "That gives us permission to actually use your idea. We'd also really like your input throughout the film. I know that's a lot to ask but the more we read of your book, the greater movie potential we saw. We asked Kay Cannon to write up a draft for the screenplay. We're certainly willing to send it to you or even fly you down to Baton Rouge before principal shooting. We know this is a lot to take in at the moment so feel free to call or text Max or myself at this number, anytime. We know you have to talk to your parents and probably your school too."

"Yeah, wow... I'll contact you soon, I really just need to let this all sink in." Sink in? What am I? Seven? Of course I'm going to let them make a movie. Right? They want my input. Oh who am I kidding, they don't really care about what I have to say. But then again, what do I have to lose?

Things can't get much worse than they already are. Shit. What about my parents. Eh, they couldn't care one way or the other. And my school, less liability for them I suppose. I'll just have them email me my assignments.

**Los Angeles, CA**

_Elizabeth's POV_

God I hope she says yes. There's something about her. I can't quite place it. It's like, like she was scared on the phone. Scared and completely exhausted. Not exhausted as in tired though. Exhausted like she's been through a lot. Ha ha. I must be going crazy to assume all that from a phone call. I get up and start pacing back and forth.

"Sit down Liz" I hear and slow down to concentrate on what I'm hearing. "I'm sure she'll pull through. We just gave her a boat load of information. I'm sure she's talking to her parents and calling her school."

"I hope so. There was just something about her. She wrote a brilliant book but how do you describe some of the things in it without experiencing it firsthand?" Realization washes over his face and I know we're both praying for the same thing. That's when the phone buzzes and I know our questions will be answered.

_(7:42)Morgan Sweeney: I'm in. Email me all the legal documents and information please and I'll fax them back next week. Also I...erm I was wondering how much input and opinion you wanted? M_

_(7:43)Elizabeth Banks: Awesome! I'm so excited(: I want you there every step of the way. I'll email you everything tonight. Don't worry, I'll set up the flights and everything ;) E_

Relief flooded my mind as I sat down. This is happening. I can't believe it. I better send those papers before she can change her mind!

_My POV_

I guess there's no turning back now. Only time will tell how things pan out. I still need to talk to my parents and the school.

Luckily, Emma has gotten straight A's since preschool and has her pick of boarding schools in New England willing to give her a full ride. She's enrolled at Bridgeton Academy in Maine. I'm glad because while I'll be more than 1400 miles away from home, she's at least a four and a half hour drive away from our father. He, on the other had drunkenly signed the liability forms and has enough frozen lasagnas to last a lifetime. 'Unfortunately' my mother is going on a business trip to Tokyo, meeting with some important ambassador. She had her assistant sign the papers. I could tell because her "y" at the end of our name is stretched out too far. She always says to be neat and that signature is not neat. But at the moment, who cares?

With all my legal paperwork done and my flight for Louisiana leaving in 2 weeks I feel as though I might just get out of this hellhole. I hope I can leave all my negativity here but knowing me...


	3. Ch 3: We've all faked a smile

The next two weeks blurred right by. I said goodbye to Emma and talked to her when she arrived at Bridgeton. She's already made friends and is enjoying life. I packed all my stuff and made sure I was ready for today. I land at Baton Rouge Metropolitan Airport in a few hours and I decide to read over the script again. Elizabeth told me who was going to play the main characters. Beca Mitchell would be done by Anna Kendrick. Chloe Beale was being played by Brittany Snow. Aubrey Posen would be played by Anna Camp. Rebel Wilson would be Fat Amy and so on. I decided to google some of them and was pleasantly surprised by the cast.

I just really can't screw this up. What if they don't like me? Or worse, what if they think I'm a freak and hate me. I mean, I would. But then again I'm the crazy one. Well apparently you aren't crazy if you think you are since the ones who truly are, don't know it. But still...

I slowly wake to find that my ears desperately need to pop. The plane is on its final descent and I'm hoping things will go as smoothly as I was told on the phone. A car should be waiting to take me to the hotel I'm staying at.

_Ding. Ding. Ding. _And that's my cue to grab my bag and leave. As I exit the plane I trip over the end of some loose rug, making a fool out of myself. My face turns bright red as I bolt into the bathroom, not even caring that I can see my suitcase on the conveyor belt to my left. Slowly I leave the stall I didn't even realize I was standing in and will the tears away. My head tells me to stop being such a baby but I can't help it. I'm too weak.

When I finally stop crying and fix my make-up it's not hard to spot my luggage, considering it's the only stuff left. The flight attendants probably weren't too happy with having to wait for me to get my shit together. I grab my bags and make my way to the front of the airport when a man stops me and asks if I'm Miss Sweeney. I say yes and he tells me he is here to take me to the Marriott where Elizabeth Banks and Max Handelman are waiting. I look at him warily but follow anyway. I haven't really got much to lose and if anything I'll call Elizabeth in the car. I guess the driver wasn't that weird and he even suggested a nice Italian restaurant down the street.

I walk through the lobby of the Marriott and towards a man with a nice haircut and black jacket. I assume he's the manager. I tell him that I'm supposed to be waiting for Elizabeth Banks. At the sound of her name he hands me a key at tells me "floor seven, room 732". I grab my bags and go up the elevator to the seventh floor. Once out, I turn left and face the door hiding the room that I'll be living in for the next couple of months.

_Here goes nothing. _I think as I slide my card and enter the room.

It's nice, with a big bed and an okay view, overlooking a few other buildings and streets. I begin unpacking my duffel bag when my eye catches a familiar sight. Inside one of my sneakers is a little matchbox that long ago actually held matches. Now it holds something far more valuable than that.

I take the blade out of the box as memories from earlier today flood into my mind. Why did I have to trip? _Slice. _Why couldn't I stop crying? _Slice. _ Why did I have to make those flight attendants wait so long? _Slice. _I hear that there's someone at my door but I'm too focused at the moment. _Slice._

"Morgan? Morgan, honey. It's Elizabeth. Is everything okay? The manager downstairs told me you got here over an hour ago and you never called. Sweetie?"

Shit. Was I supposed to call? Have I really been in the bathroom for over an hour? I run out of the bathroom wrapping my arm as I go, throwing a sweatshirt on as I see a note next to the phone that reads "hey sweetie, give me a call when you get in (: E

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Give me a sec!" I yell as I finish cleaning up the bathroom and throw my stuff in the closet. Jeez, I've been here less than a day and I already can't keep it clean. "Hi. Sorry I didn't see the note until just now. It's great to finally meet you." I say as I'm wrapped in a big bear hug.

I haven't really been hugged like that since I was a child. I never want it to end and I think she knows and that's why before she let go she squeezed a little harder. It may have been my imagination, most people I grow close to just leave.

"How was your flight?" I hear her ask, though I'm still shocked from that hug.

Elizabeth puts a hand on my shoulder and I flinch. Fuck, I should not have done that.

"Sorry, I'm just a little jumpy. The flight was kind of bumpy." I lie.

She seems to believe me and I'm relieved when she suggests we go meet Kay and Max. What I didn't know was that we'd be going out to lunch. A pit in my stomach forms as we drive to "a little cafe no one knows about" as Elizabeth calls it. When we arrive, we find Max and Kay sitting in a corner booth looking at the menu, drinking sodas. A waitress comes over to us shortly and asks for our drink orders.

"Water please," I say.

"ummm... I'll have a Diet coke"

"Right away," I hear and she walks away.

All I'm left with are my thoughts, which I don't think they want to hear at the moment, while the three of them chat away. I didn't even realize I was asked a question until I felt a slight nudge and a soft chuckle directed towards me.

"I'm sorry, what?" I ask, embarrassed.

Smiling, Kay says "You're sure your parents are okay with this? You being here in Louisiana and filming? Don't you have a sister as well?"

"Wow, you guys do your research," I say smirking, "But yeah, I do have a sister, Emma. She's at boarding school though, so don't worry. My parents are totally fine with this." y_ou have no idea_ "They think this will be a good experience for me" I lie. I note how easily they roll off my tongue now a days.

"Well that's good" I hear Max say. "We're extremely happy to have you here with us." Yeah right. "I was wondering if there were any things that absolutely have to be in the film. Like any jokes or scenes?"

I think for a while but am interrupted by the waitress coming to take our order.

"Fish 'n Chips with a side of mayo please"

"Can I have the double cheeseburger with lettuce, onion and tomato?"

"Ketchup, mustard?"

"Yes, thank you."

"I'll have the tuna melt. Thanks."

_Um. Um. Um_. "Yeah, I'll have a Caesar salad, please"

"Right away, can I take these menus? Thanks"

"So..." Elizabeth says. "Tell us about yourself. What do you like and don't like. Your pet peeves and your passions and what keeps you going. Who your friends are. This day is about you. We want to get to know you better and hopefully you'll know us better too. So, before we start bombing you more questions, do you have any for us?"

"Well I guess I'll start with what scenes are imperative. The shower scene. That's a must. It's hilarious and sets the stage for their 'super fast friendship'. Fat Amy's crystal meth joke and her ongoing sexual tension with Bumper. I don't really want Luke to be too big of a threat to Jesse. Just the fact that he's really hot and not too big of a douche is good enough. I'd totally ship Chloe and Beca if she weren't straight but yeah, she is. That's about it. Go wild. Oh also, I know there's some really dark stuff in the book but I was hoping it could be less dramatic. Ya know, like if anything is even remotely serious it's undercut with humor. It should be light and airy and jaw dropping and stunning.

I smile and they smile back at each other. I can tell they're excited. I just wish I was as enthusiastic as them. What If they can tell I'm not ready? Or what if the actors think I'm a joke? What if I really am a joke? I'm just a kid, really. I don't have any experience with shit like this. I'm only 16.

I seem to forget I'm with other people because when I look back at the others at the table they're staring at me with concerned looks on their faces.

"Sorry" I mumble. "I was just thinking. Oh look food's here" I say as the waiter walks towards us with an armful of food.

I look around, content with the fact that I changed the subject so quickly. That is until I see Elizabeth glance at me, face ridden with compassion and suspicion.

A few minutes pass and by now I'm just pushing my salad around my plate, occasionally taking pieces that are the least drenched in dressing. That is until I hear a fork being put down and a throat being cleared.

"Now, tell us about yourself."

Hmm... What do I say? Definitely not anything too deep. Nothing depressing and nothing stupid.

"Well, with all the research you've done, I'm assuming you know I was born and raised in Connecticut. My mom's an ambassador for the UN and my dad is a high school teacher. He teaches theology and world history. My sister Emma is extremely smart. I don't mean like counting, Rainman, kind of smart, but she's witty and brainy. She's not the most athletic but her brain will take her wherever she needs to go. As far as my pet peeves go, well I hate when things hang off the edge a little bit. Whether it be on a table or a chair that's uneven. Ugh I hate that! I don't like when people suck their teeth and I hate when people, especially at my school, say 'whatchu is cuz' or 'nah, see this ain't be happening' even though when either my sister or I do something stupid the other yells 'who is you?!' but that's just to make fun of other people who say it on a regular basis. My best friend is Caitlin. I met her freshman year. I don't know how we became so close but we did." I smile and take a sip of my water. "And Michelle. Oh Michelle, I met her sophomore year. She's so funny. She has no filter and usually says what everyone else is thinking but just won't say."

"Oh I run and play lacrosse. I'm also junior class VP and am going to Kentucky to build a house this summer, but that's just what I say when other people ask. I figured you deserved the real stuff." I add as we drive back to the hotel.

As I flop down in bed I realize just how exhausted I am. I flip through some channels but decide it's time to hit the sack. But before I can do that, I get a text from Elizabeth.

(10:47)Elizabeth Banks: hey :) first official table read, tomorrow, 9:30am see you there! E

(10:50)Morgan Sweeney: okay, great! See you then, goodnight. M


	4. Ch 4: I don't even know if I'm alive

**A/N: School has been so hectic so I don't know when I'll be updating but here's chapter 4! I hope you enjoys and thanks to everyone who has followed and/or left a review. It literally makes me feel so good! Also, I do not own Pitch Perfect or any of its characters**

Bright rays of sun wake me up and I fight the urge to curl up beneath the covers. 7_:10. _Ugh. Way. To. Early. I try and go back to sleep but quickly remember where I am. I don't want to be late so I throw off the covers and hop in the shower. I haven't properly unpacked any of my things and I figure I'll just use the stuff they give me. 45 minutes later I'm clean and putting my hair up to dry. I throw sweats and a long sleeve on and make my way to the lobby. Hopefully they'll have some hot chocolate. Though, if anyone asked, I'd swear on my life that it's coffee. I'm relived there aren't many people when I get down there and let a breath out I didn't realize I was holding. To my right was a guy probably in his mid to early 20's. He's cute, like a puppy you just want to run around with all day. He's probably wondering why I'm staring. Oh no, he's looking at me, look away...

Finding something to wear would prove a lot harder than I imagined. I want to look grown up, but not like an adult. Relaxed, but ready to work. While I think, I do my make up. It's simple but accentuates my eyes and cheekbones. I decide to keep my hair in a bun. I finally manage to throw on black leggings, an oversized sweater and short boots. I look in the mirror and figure someone will be suspicious of my outfit since it's like 100 degrees out. I change my leggings to calf cut ones and wear a 3/4 sleeved tee and moccasins. I throw on some bracelets, grab my phone and head out the door.

_Conference room B _I was told this morning. My stomach gurgled as I open the door. This is going to be a long day. Maybe I should have eaten something. I'm not surprised when I'm the only one in here. It's a nice space. Not like the normal conference room with an oval table and swervy chairs and a picture of the manager the size of Mars.

No, this room has a giant window overlooking some streets. There's just enough noise from below to remind you of the world outside, yet it was quiet enough to hear the ticking of clock on the wall. The table was white and rectangular with tall chocolate brown leather chairs. On one side of the room, a white canvas with colored paint was hanging and on the other a black and white question mark with quotes all around it. I choose the seat on the left when you walk in, closest to the window. Hugging one leg against my chest, I rest my head against my knee. I'm starting to get a slight headache and grab the bottle of Advil from my bag and a water. I throw back two pills and figure one more can't hurt.

As I finish my water a tall blonde walks towards me. She introduces herself as Anna and I quickly learn that she will be playing Aubrey. I smile to myself, knowing she'll be able to play a bad bitch. I tell her I wrote Pitch Perfect and she all but about squeals in excitement. I hadn't realized some, if any, of the actors read my book or if they even knew it was based on one.

I fiddle with my bracelets when Anna picks up her phone. "Room Beeeee! Not A, that's upstairs" she rolls her eyes as she puts her phone away and turns to face me. I was not expecting her to look back at me so quickly and my face probably said it all. I'm scared. I'm scared shitless. I look away and when I turn back I know I'm back to cool confident me. But she saw. She looks me straight in the eyes and I smile. I've done this a million times. Hid how scared I was. This is no different. She didn't care though. She reaches out to touch my arm but I back away. Why did I do that? She isn't going to hit me.

_Anna's POV_

I hang up with Brittany and turn to put my phone away. What I see next makes my heart break. She seems petrified. I look away for a second and when I meet her gaze again any fear she may have has been neatly tucked away. I wonder how long it took to master that erm...skill. I smile and reach out to touch her arm but she backs up so fast my own arm isn't even fully extended. I'm going to have to learn more about this girl. I smile when she apologizes and soon a group of people come in. They introduce themselves as Brittany Snow, Anna Kendrick, Alexis Knapp, Ester Dean, Hana and "Fat Amy" "just kidding, it's Wilson. Rebel Wilson.

Morgan introduces herself and sits there, only speaking when someone else says hi first. I know I'm not the only one who notices as I look at Brittany but before anything can be done the boys and the rest of the cast along with Jason, Kay, Max and Elizabeth walk in. We all settle down and Elizabeth is the first to speak.

"Hello, hello. I would first like to give you all a round of applause. I am so incredibly proud to be a part of this. Thank you Jason Moore for saying yes when I begged him to be our director Thank you all for auditioning and working so hard. Last, but most certainly not least, thank you Morgan. Thank you for writing Pitch Perfect. Without you, we wouldn't be sitting together in this room, so just thank you so much."

I look over at Morgan who now has both knees wrapped up against her chest. She says thank you but I know it's just because it's the appropriate thing to say. I'm not saying she doesn't mean it, just that if it were up to her she probably wouldn't have been thanked.

"You have all come so far and I can't wait to start shooting. Kay has written the final script so let's begin!"

_My POV_

The reading took less time than I thought it would and I actually really enjoyed it. I laughed so much I thought I was going to die of a heart attack while peeing my pants. That'd be one for the books.

I really don't understand what's wrong with me. It's like there's times where I forget all my troubles and I can laugh until my sides hurt. I can fully enjoy the moment and other times I don't want anything to do with laughter. I just want to curl up in a ball under my covers. When I'm happy I feel like I'm finally invincible. I can logically think about the times when I'm sad and I tell myself I'm better than that. I can acknowledge that some of the things I put myself through are bad but other times I can't even get myself to give a shit. There's no way someone else would care if I can't even care for myself.

I look up and realize almost everyone's gone. All who are left include Brittany, both Anna's, Rebel, Alexis and myself. I think they're talking about getting lunch but I can't really concentrate on anything with the room spinning so much. I don't remember much but I guess they saw me when my head hit the table. Maybe I tried to stand up too fast? I remember telling them I was fine and giving them my room key.

_"I'm fine really" I slurred. I tried getting up again but they insisted I sit down._

_"Are you okay?" This time it was Brittany who talked. "You had me really worried. I thought you might have a concussion and you didn't wake up right away. You were just slumped over in your chair."_

_"Yeah, yeah. Go get lunch I'll be fine." _They weren't convinced_._

I don't remember too much of how I got to my room. I was half walking, half carried there. They laid me on my bed and I was out. When I woke up it was dark outside and Alexis was sitting in a chair next to me watching TV.

"Hey sleepy head. You had us worried. You've been out for like 7 hours." She said, kindly, but I could hear the underlying concern.

God, has it really been that long?!

It all came crashing down, as I remembered everything. "Oh my God, I'm sorry. How long have you been here? What about your son? You can go really. I'm sorry you had to like carry me to my room."

"Whoa whoa whoa, slow down shorty," Alexis laughed, "I've only been here for like 15 minutes. Rebel's got Kai. We've been taking shifts. Even the guys have been here. You can sleep through anything. Skylar and Ben were throwing cheese balls across the room."

"That explains the orange in my hair," I say, relaxing a little bit. A little. Not much.

"Look, sweetie, we're going to be working together for three months" Alexis said, finally dropping all pretenses, "Are you okay? I know we're going to get close and you know you can tell me anything?"

"Yeah I know Lex, thanks" I say pretty convincingly. I knew this was coming. It always did, so the lie was always prepared and oh so easy.

"So, you've been asleep for a while and I know you missed lunch and maybe breakfast, who knows... so what are you hungry for?" Alexis asked, looking like she wasn't entirely convinced. Thankfully she was willing to drop the subject though.

I bite my lower lip. I should really eat something. I know me passing out was not from sleep deprivation. Plus they practically carried me to bed, I'm sure they know how much I weigh.

"Um yeah, I'll order room service or somethi-"

"Ohh no you don't" Alexis said happily, cutting me off, "We're going out to eat. I've already texted the girls and we're going to the Italian place down the street. No but's."

"Okay. Lemme change and do my make up." I say. _Shit, this'll be interesting._

"Don't change too much," Lex winks and goes back to the TV while I grab my clothes.

My mom used to say that to me when I was little. I'd put on fashion shows and every time I told her I was going to change. She'd say 'Don't change too much' and it always made me giggle. Then one day I told her I was going to change and all she said was 'we don't have time for anymore dress up. It's time you started acting your age.' from then on I haven't tried clothes on for anyone but myself.

"Sweetie, you've been in there for over half an hour. You okay?"

"Yeah! I'll be right out." I say as I throw my boots on and grab my phone. "Ready"

I open the door for her and she links arms with me. I'm not sure if it's because she thinks I'm going to pass out or what but it's actually kind of nice and I lean into her. She seems to notice and wraps her arm around my shoulders. At first I tense up but soon smile and wrap my arm around her waist.

We walk through the doors of the restaurant and I see Anna K wave at us. I walk ahead of Alexis and sit next to Brittany. Alexis sits next to Rebel.

"What's up little shawshank? Pop too many mollie's?" Rebel jokes when I'm seated.

I laugh. Like genuinely laugh for the first time since I woke up. "No, I wish though. Naw, it's actually just been a hectic few days, and I haven't slept much. You know how it is!"

We all order and I get my usual salad, dressing on the side this time. I guess I must have been extremely hungry because I finished my salad in record time and ate an entire basket of bread. While sitting there, I start to think about what I just ate. I quickly excuse myself and head towards the bathroom.

My head is screaming at this point. _Look at you. You fucking pig. I can't believe you just ate all that. Great. Now go run it off. Oh wait, you can't. No one can burn that many calories. It's too late. You can't even exercise a small amount of self control. _It's true. I can't. I have to get rid of it, now.

I check the stalls and head towards the last one, locking it behind me. I throw my hair up and shove two finger down my throat. I feel the burning in my stomach and feel my dinner come up and into the toilet. I flush and am about to go at it again when I suddenly feel a pair of arms wrap around me. My first instinct is to run... Or fight. But I look up and realize it's Anna K. Confused I go to ask her how she was here since I checked the stalls but am stopped as nausea hits and I throw up the rest of my food. Anna hold my now messy hair while I finish. I ask and she says there's another side to the bathroom I must have missed.

I apologize and try to get up but I'm weak and she hugs me. She hugs me like her life, not mine depends on it. Soon I'm back on the ground leaning on the wall wrapped in Anna's arms. I'm crying so hard and I don't even care. She coo's at me and tells me everything will be okay. When I finally stop crying I stand up but have to hold on to the wall. I rinse my mouth out and slowly turn to face Anna. I stare at my feet and kick the sides of my shoes together.

"Please don't tell" I whisper. "It's only been a little while. I swear. Tonight it just became too much and I didn't know what to do."

"Morgan, I won't tell anyone unless you want me to. But I think we should talk to Brittany. She had anorexia for years."

She must have seen the fear in my eyes because she reassured me she would be there every step of the way.

"I don't know. I don't want others to know I'm a freak. I just want to be normal." I start shaking again, knowing I'll never be normal.

"Oh sweetheart, normal is so overrated. No one thinks you're a freak. Everyone's already in love with you." She hugs me again and kisses my temple. I fix my hair and we walk out together.

"Sorry guys, we got caught up telling stories and lost track of time." She winks and resumes her conversation with Alexis.

"No problem. Ready to go?" Agreement circled around the table as we paid and then head back toward the hotel.

I close my door, pulling my boots and jeans off along with my sweater. With a tee shirt and shorts on, I wash my face and hop into bed. I check my phone, two new messages and a missed call.

(10:50)203-521-4186: hey it's Anna K. Let's get coffee tomorrow. Britt's coming. I'll come wake you, I do have one of your keys ;)

(9:42) Elizabeth Banks: Meet me in the lobby at 11. We're going to LSU to shoot.

(8:26)Mom: One missed call

I call her cell hoping, and also knowing from experience, that she doesn't pick up. When I hear the little beep, I sigh in relief and throw my phone back onto my bed.

Ughh I really don't want to talk about myself. Why couldn't I just control myself? Control it?! Whatever it is...


	5. Ch 5: Huffing glue up in the bathroom

**A/N: Another chapter so soon?! You betcha! I don't know when I'll be updating again seeing as I have midterms the rest of the week and am going to my family reunion for a couple days after. I'll hopefully have something by the beginning of next week, sooner if I can get to a computer though :) Again, thank you to everyone who's read this, left a review etc. Also, if you haven't already noticed my chapters, and title for that matter, are lyrics to different songs and if you'd like a list PM me or review. **

_Anna Kendrick's POV_

(7:30)Morgan Sweeney: hey sorry, can't make it to coffee. They're filming the hot tub scene and wanted me there.

I quickly text Brittany and ask her to meet me for coffee. I couldn't sleep at all last night and I could really use the boost.

(8:24)Brittany Snow: sure! When?

(8:25)Anna Kendrick: 10 minutes? Meet me in the lobby?

(8:25)Brittany Snow: I'll be there (:

I throw on a pair of yoga pants and a tank top and make my way to the lobby. I'm glad she's not there yet because I need to think of what to say. Do I mention Morgan? I told her I wouldn't but Brittany's pretty understanding.

20 minutes later we are seated and waiting for our names to be called. On the way I told her I had to tell her something important and that it was important she keep some perspective and she promised she would. Once we got out coffee I began.

"I don't really know how to say this or even if I should but I'm really worried about Morgan. I think she has an eating disorder. You felt her when we carried her to her room. She weighted like 80 pounds. And there's no way she passed out from sleep deprivation. She's 16! She could sleep for 2 hours and be fine. But the worst thing... When we were at dinner the other night, I found her making herself throw up. She told me not to tell anyone. That she could control it and that it's only been like this for a few weeks but I doubt it has."

Before Brittany could even respond I see Anna C and Alexis walk in. They order and wave at us. We wave back and look at each other. They make their way towards us and Lex sits next to me while Anna sits next to Brittany.

Alexis is the first to speak "What's got your panties in a wad?" she asks jokingly. When neither of us responds she looks at us again and says "You're worried about Morgan, aren't you..."

"Yeah, what do you know?" I sigh.

"Well" Anna C adds, taking a swig of coffee "When I first met her there was such evident fear in her eyes and I went to touch her arm. She got totally freaked and moved back. But as soon as I looked at her again it was like it never happened. She was smiling and talking and laughing."

"I was with her when she woke up and she apologized profusely. Like this was all her fault. She told me she'd order room service but I knew she wouldn't." Alexis said.

It was Brittany's turn to talk and she asked how much we actually knew about Morgan. "I mean we all know she's accomplished. She's popular in school, you would think with her resume, it was that of three kids, not one. She never mentions her parents and only briefly talks about her sister. And when she does, she praises her to no end. I don't like how she never talks about her parents though, it's unsettling."

"So, what do we know?" Alexis asks, finishing her coffee.

I put together all the information we'd obtained and spoke. "We know she's smart. She's talented and beautiful. We know she wants everyone to think her life is perfect and that she doesn't worry about anything but there are cracks in her foundation. Like someone broke her and never bothered to try and fix anything they had broken. I know she has bulimia and we're pretty sure she has anorexia too. Maybe depression? I'm not sure but I wouldn't doubt it."

"I really hope she's not suicidal but if she's this self-destructive internally I can only imagine how she deals with things on the outside." Brittany, knowing the most, was asked how we should continue. "I think, for the moment we should keep a watch on her. Don't mention it to anyone but don't be too offended if she snaps at you. She's going to try and keep her cool but when someone starts asking you question you don't want to answer, you tend to get defensive. She may want to talk, she may not but eventually we need to sit down with her.

"I'm also worried about how jumpy she is. When I tried to touch her I think she thought I was going to hit her."

We all sat in silence for a while, processing what we just learned. God, what had this girl gone through? She's only 16 for fucks sake. Why her? She's smart and funny. She's so extremely nice and caring. I don't get it. I can't imagine what she must have gone through.

Brittany was the one to break the silence. "I think we should let her come to us for a little. If that doesn't work we'll come up with something else. I'll create a group message in case anything happens."

We all agreed and got up to get ready for the day. Today was a big day. I, Beca, get to sing naked with Chloe, and Aubrey is going to blow chunks.

_No One's POV_

It was 10 o'clock and everyone was done for the day. It was one of those special days when everyone was in a good mood and food and drinks were plentiful. Rebel, much like Fat Amy, was telling some outrageous story about her time in a prison cell, being wrongly accused of grand theft auto.

Alexis, Ben and Skylar were talking about their own college experiences and I think were starting to freak Ben out, only being a freshman himself.

Jason, Elizabeth and Max left one circle which left Brittany, Kelley, the Anna's, Ester, Hana and Morgan. Anna C was talking about the time she was 7 and opened a can of coke and it exploded all over her parents' new car. Stories like this continued for at least another hour and Morgan had managed to avoid every chance she had to speak about herself, only commenting on another story or asking a question of her own. Finally, Ester, never being the most patient of people asked what an average day in the Sweeney household was like. Morgan grew red and she knew it. She wouldn't be able to get out of this one, now with everyone looking at her.

"Um...you know. Life is pretty normal. We eat dinner together, talk, we do chores and stuff. Everyone thinks that with of the stuff written in Pitch Perfect, my life is somehow really interesting. My life is actually really boring." Morgan stammered out.

_My life is actually really lonely_ she thought sadly.

"Oh, yeah that's cool." everyone said.

And the stories continued. Morgan was able to redirect any question she was asked and seemed content with all her answers. She could talk about herself for ages without actually saying anything. Her stories consist of things any group of friends would do. She talks about seeing movies and having sleepovers. Her track meets and summers vacations and how she hit a sign the first time she went driving but that's about as personal as it got. She doesn't talk about her problems and never about her parents.

Brittany tried to ask her questions about her personal life but to her, Morgan's answers were unsatisfactory.

"Do you have a boyfriend?" She'd ask.

"No," Morgan said succinctly, before moving on to the next topic.

"Do you have a girlfriend?" Brittany tried again later.

Morgan laughed, "No, I had a boyfriend but we broke up."

"Oh, why?"

"Umm he wanted more than I could give." They all gave her a sad and slightly confused look.

"Not sex. I mean sex is fine, whatever. I just, please don't look at me that way, I can handle myself. He just wanted something more emotional and I didn't want the attachment so I broke it off with him. He was kind of a jerk and liked to show me off anyways. I don't know why I didn't do it sooner."

Content with the answer she was given, Brittany called it a night. Soon it was just Morgan and Alexis left. Before calling it a night Alexis handed Morgan a cup of coffee.

"Can you promise me something?" Alexis bit her lower lip, hoping she would hear a yes.

"Yeah, I can try." Morgan said, a hint of defensiveness in her voice, "Although I'm not always very good at keeping them..."

"Sex is special. Now I'm not trying to mom you here or chastise you for having sex. It's fucking great and trust me back in college I-" Alexis said before remembering what she was supposed to say. Shaking her head a bit, she went back to the topic at hand, "Anyway, I just want you to know that when you're with someone you actually love, it's so much better than when you feel obligated or for any other reason. I just want you to be careful is all."

"I'll try" Morgan laughs.

However, mentally, she wonders what Alexis is even talking about. However, none of that really mattered to her, so they just say their good nights and head off to their rooms.


	6. Ch 6: I'm living on such sweet nothing

**A/N: So I got to a computer! Yaay! And as always, I own nothing.**

This past month has been some of the best and worst weeks of my life. Sometimes I hate being with people who seem genuinely interested in me. Though I should enjoy the attention, all it does is remind me how lonely I actually am. Working with Elizabeth Banks and Jason Moore has been a blast though. They've taught me so much. I've made so many friends and I know they care about me. I care about all them too.

Sometimes it kills me that they don't know the truth. I want them to, sometimes. Sometimes, I just don't want to keep everything bundled up inside. They always tell me I can tell them anything, and sometimes, I almost actually believe them. We always have sleepovers and have gotten extremely close. I can't tell them though. They'll think I'm a freak. Anna was just being nice in the bathroom. I need to keep my guard up. They'll use what I tell them against me. I know it.

I miss Emma terribly though. We text often but it's not the same. She was the reason I kept it together. Without her, I'm lost. I have no purpose. She's self-sufficient. She tells me about all her friends and grades. She'll do fine no matter what happens. She's a fighter, unlike me.

I miss physical contact. God, I just want a hug. I would ask one of the girls but then they'd know something was wrong. Ya know what though? I do deserved to be liked. I've spent too long being the submissive one. I change into high waisted shorts and a crop top then head out the door. I deserve a good time and I'll be damned if I get one.

I walk into the club, waving my fake ID as I go. I spot some young guys standing by the bar and I walk right by them and onto the dance floor. I start dancing and a few seconds later I feel someone behind me. I look back and see it's one of the guys.

"I'm James" he says, grinding up against me.

"Morgan" I say as I flip him around for more contact.

Soon a second guy is behind me and it feels amazing. I can feel his boner pressed against my ass and I back him up against the wall. The guy in front of me is kissing my jaw line and my hips buck involuntarily. I suggest we get out of there and he happily agrees.

The guy behind me, which I later learned was James' brother, must have been disappointed but didn't seem to mind too much. James bought me a couple drinks before we left and headed back to my hotel room. As soon as we were off the elevator he picked me up and leaned me against some random wall. The rational part of my brain told me I should probably get off Brittany and Anna's door but I was too intoxicated to care. I eventually find my keycard and we make our way to my bed, kicking our shoes off as we go. I don't know where my card landed but I'm not sure I care since tonight was one of the best nights of my life. I drift off to sleep without a care in the world.

_Brittany's POV_

What is that banging? I go and check the hall but no one's out there. A keycard is in front of Morgan's door and I'm assuming she dropped it. I'll text her and tell her I have it. I walk back towards the bed and climb in.

"What was it?" Anna C asked, brushing her teeth.

"I dunno. I did find Morgan's card on the ground though. I texted her but she hasn't responded. Do you think it was a sign?"

"Nah, I don't think so. No one's _that _subtle."

"Yeah I guess you're right. I'm just worried. She's such a great kid and I feel like no one's ever tried looking past what she puts up."

"Yeah I know" Anna frowns. "Let's just try and get some sleep. We can talk to her tomorrow."

"M'kay, goodnight"

"Night."

I wake up with an uneasy feeling. "Anna? Anna. Wake up."

"What? We have today off for a reason you know."

"I know, sorry. I just have a weird feeling. Let's go give Morgan her key back."

"Yeah okay, give me a sec" Anna groans as she throws off the covers.

Once Anna's ready we make our way across the hall. I'm about to open the door when a tall brown haired boy runs out. Who is he?! He pushes past us and we make our way through discarded clothes, some of which were definitely not female. I turn to face a mortified looking Morgan.

"Oh sweetie" Anna says as she sits next to Morgan. I hand her a sweatshirt which may or may not be hers and we look away when she changes. It doesn't stop me from seeing the scars along her wrists. "What happened?"

"I grew up, that's what happened." Morgan says, defeated "I'm supposed to act like an adult. Pay the fucking bills, get good grades, watch my sister. Cook and clean, make sure everyone thinks my life is perfect and I can't go out and do what an adult is actually allowed to do? That's total bullshit, yeah. I got fucking beaten for years to protect Emma. Now I can't even go out without being judged. I'm so sick of people telling me what to do. I can take care of myself. I have been for a while now."

"Oh honey. No one's doubting you." I say sympathetically. Internally though, my heart is breaking for this poor girl. For Christ's sake, she's only 16!

"We know you can take care of yourself. We just don't think you should have to. You're 16. You should be driving around, kissing boys, going on dates. Not having one night stands with a guy you just met. Look, I'm not judging you, I'm trying to protect you. You're still 16 and I'm worried. Why would you do this? I just wanna understand."

"Be-because I'm never good enough." Morgan sobs, "Because I just want to be loved. Because I came from a place where perfect isn't good enough and anything less is just failure. When I was little I wasn't allowed to weigh more than a certain amount. I'm 5'2" which means I shouldn't weigh more than 101 pounds. Once when I was 11 I was like 93 pounds but because I wasn't under 90, I wasn't allowed dinner for 2 weeks."

I looked at Anna, astonished. She looked back at me and she looked as if she was going to cry. My heart melted for this girl. Her walls are so high she doesn't even know they're there.

"What about Emma?" I hear her say.

"No. Emma's never been hit or starved," Morgan says. In her eyes, I can see the relief at this, "I know he wanted to though. I made a deal with him when I was 8. Nothing happens to her and I'm yours. He's never laid a hand on her and I've never told on him. Not until now."

She looks at me like a lost puppy. I don't know what to do next so I ask to see her arms.

"Sweetie, can I see?" I ask gently, "I won't judge. I just want to make sure they won't get infected."

She looks at me warily before finally rolling up her right sleeve, showing some very faint scars and about 12 or so fresh cuts. I want to cry over her, do something, anything to take away Morgan's pain. She's only 16, and she feels like she has to do this? I want to beat the shit out of her father and hug her at the same time. However, now is not the time. So instead of doing that, I just nod, and ask her to roll up her other sleeve. For a second, Morgan hesitates before she complies. There's one or two larger cuts on her forearm but most are small cuts along her wrist. There are also some fading bruises and burns it looks like.

"It looks like they'll heal properly. We really need to tell some-" I start to say.

"No!" Morgan shouts, panicked, "Please don't. Emma's safe. That's all that matters."

"What about your safety? Don't you count?" Anna quietly demands.

"No, not really." Morgan says, so sincerely, that it breaks my heart, "I just count because I'm helping Emma. Please don't make me give that up. Look I know I put up quite the front but please don't tell anyone."

"I have to. You need help. Emma needs help. And your parents..." I trail off, "I don't even know what to say about them. How could they do such a thing?"

"Ya know, I shouldn't have said anything. I can handle myself. I'm sorry you had to bring me my key. I'm sorry you know about my fucked up life and I'm sorry you started to like me. You would never like the real me so sorry!" She practically shouted.

"Morgan!" I call, "Morgan, wait"

But she was gone.

I start crying and Anna walks up to me and wraps her arms around my waist, rubbing circles over my shirt. We stay like that for God knows how long and I can't even seem to move.

The rest of the day goes by in a blur. We shot all the choreography scenes and I was disappointed and honestly a bit worried that Morgan wasn't there.

When Rebel walks up to me when our day is over and asks me what's wrong, I'm not sure what exactly to say. I know I can't tell Rebel exactly what's wrong, but at the same time, Morgan could be in some serious trouble. So I just tell her I'm worried about Morgan. I haven't seen her all day and she hasn't responded to any of my texts.

"You know what you need? A night out with the girls!" Rebel laughs.

"I'm not sure that's such a great idea." I say. I really need to find Morgan.

"Sure it is. I'll text the girls." Rebel says, unconcerned about Morgan.

But why should she? She doesn't know what I know. To her, I'm just acting like some overprotective big sister or something.

(6:58)Rebel Wilson: hey sexi ladies. Meet me at Club 24 in half an hour. First round's on me. Be there or be square.

(7:01)Anna Kendrick: oop, don't wanna be square. We'd better go.

(7:01)Ester Dean: I could use a drink

(7:02)Hana Mae Lee: same

45 minutes later and the whole gang is assembled. Shots of tequila are passed around. And soon the alcohol is flowing freely.

"Ya know, I think we should head back. It's getting kinda late and I'm totally wasted." Alexis says, getting up from her chair. "I'm just gonna pee then we can go."

I agree because the room is slightly tilted and I can't see right.

"Guys" I turn around to see a strangely sober Alexis. "we have a problem." she starts walking towards us and continues. "I think... I think I just saw Morgan shoot up in the bathroom. I couldn't tell if it was her or not but then again I'm drunk.

"Our Morgan?" Rebel asked. "Nah, she wouldn't do that."

"Let's go check." And sure enough, what I see next has a total sobering effect. Sitting on the floor doing lines of, what looks like cocaine is a highly influenced Morgan. Next she pops 3 blue pills and I know it's time to get her out of here.

"C'mon, it's time to leave" coaxed Anna C.

"No, no. Leave me it's fine. I'm having fun."

We stare at each other. I can't believe Morgan would turn to drugs. We've been here for her the whole time.

"Everyone grab a limb." it didn't take long to pick her up. She didn't fight and she weighs like 80 pounds, if even. We carry her the short distance to a cab and I ride with her along with Rebel and Alexis. The other cab has Anna C, Anna K, Ester and Hana.

The ride is short and soon we're back at the hotel. I pay the driver and get out, pulling Morgan along with me. Alexis is on the other side and we carry her up to her room. We pull her jeans off, knowing they'll be uncomfortable and tuck her into bed. I call Kelley and she tells me that if it's her first time she'll probably be fine and "to check her pulse every hour or so. If her breathing becomes shallow or her pulse slows down or speed up dramatically, call either me or 911."

"I'll stay with her tonight. I don't have any scenes tomorrow and I'm pretty awake and probably the most sober." Anna K says quietly.

Everyone agreed and heads to their respective room. I want to stay, but I know that I'm really far too drunk to really be a help. Fuck! Why did I have to drink so much?

How could someone like Morgan feel so much pain? How could she hate herself so much? Her parents. They did this to her. This is a learned process and whether you teach yourself or someone else does it's always there.


	7. Ch 7: For Emma, forever ago

**A/N: Well, this is the last chapter! I'm really proud of how this story came out. Tell me what you think because I love, love, love reviews. Tell me what's wrong and what you'd have liked to see! Lastly, I do not own anything.**

_Anna Kendrick's POV_

I wake up and realize I'm not in my room. I look around for Morgan but she's not here. Her side of the bed was made but it had definitely been slept on. On top of the pillow was a folded piece of paper. I quickly open it and see a long typed letter.

_To whom ever finds this,_

_ I'm sorry you were the one to find this. I never meant for any of this to happen. By the time you read this I will have been long gone. Don't feel sorry for me though. It's better this way. I took care of all the legal information after I woke up last night. Alexis was sitting in the chair over there. She probably isn't the one reading this though._

_I sent my information to Elizabeth saying it was a suicide and that no matter how hard my parents try, they won't be able to sue. I put a restraining order against my Dad for my sister and made sure she has full control over any money I have. She is untouchable. My job is done and I can go in peace knowing there are people like you all in the world. I was so sad before I met you guys. Everyone thought I had the perfect life but you saw right through that. The police will probably search for an answer because my parents will have them do so. It's the "right" thing to do._

_Please make sure this reaches the police before my parents. Here is my answer. I hope it's enough. Emma should testify. My mother has been out of my life more than in. She turns her back to the obvious abuse my father gives me, afraid she'll get the same. My father has beat me since I was 8. I didn't deserve it then but I suppose I do now that I'm older. It was my fault my mother was always gone. She couldn't stand me. I don't know why. I almost always got perfect grades, I went to the same school as her. I was extremely involved. I guess that was my punishment for making her leave. Good luck with the movie. I know it will be a huge hit. Please finish it. You are all so brilliant. Please know I'm not doing this out of vain or rebellion. I'm free now. Please, let me go. You deserve so much more than what I am. I love you with all that I have. It's not enough, I know. But I was never good at love._

_ Also. Emma, I love you so much. Don't ever forget that. I will always be watching over you. Think of me as your guardian angel. I will always protect you. Enjoy life. You're so much stronger than I ever was. You are so beautiful._

_With all my soul and more,_

_Morgan. _

Wiping tears from my eyes, I bolt out of Morgan's room and bang on Anna and Brittany's door. Shouting for them to get the hell up, I then rush to my room and open the door to get Alexis...

"She's gone." I breathe.

"What do you mean?" Alexis asks, jumping awake.

"Here." I handed them the letter and started pacing. I can't believe this happened. "I'm so sorry"

"Anna, this is not your fault." Alexis says, as she reads, "It could have been anyone. What we need to do now is find her if it isn't too late already. Where would she be? Think!"

"She said she was free. The roof?" I suggest.

Shit. That would be where she would go! The realization hits both of us at the same time. Quickly, we sprinted to the elevator and yell for Anna to go take the stairs.

"GO!" Anna yells, "I'll meet you guys there!"

We slowly pushed the emergency door open and saw a small figure sitting on the edge of the building. It was just starting to get light out and I could see blood dripping down her arms and a cigarette resting between her fingers. She was still breathing though.

"Sweetie" I say gently as to not startle her. "Why don't you come down and we can talk."

"Why? So I can be locked in a nuthouse?" Morgan laughs, "I was finally free. Why are you here?"

"Because we care about you." Brittany began slowly closing the gap but stopped when she saw Anna C silently making her way closer to the girl. "I really care about you. I don't want to see you in so much pain. I want to help you."

"You can't help me. As for the pain. It's either that, or nothing. There is no in-between. Maybe you want to help but you'll just leave. Everyone does. Save yourself the trouble." she sneered.

Just as she was about to lean over, Anna got to her, yanking her back. Anna forced Morgan back onto the roof. Screaming, Morgan fought against Anna, desperately trying to get back to the edge.

For a second, Alexis and I were too stunned to move. Then, one of Morgan's screams jolted me back to reality. Together, we rushed over to Anna and Morgan, doing our best to help the girl. For twenty minutes, Morgan fought like the devil himself possessed her. Screaming, kicking, clawing, and even biting, Morgan tried to wiggle out of our grasps and end her suffering. However, finally, we were able to restrain her.

When she finally stopped fighting, she just laid her head back and cried.

My POV

I was about lean over and end it all when I felt a pair of arms pull me back.

"No! I was done! Just let me die!" I screamed.

I tried so hard to get her off me but my arms hurt and there were too many of them. However, I had to do this. Why didn't they get this? I was finally free! Screaming, I fought as hard as I could to make it back to the edge. Unfortunately, I was already weak from blood loss, and with the four of them together, they were able to overpower me.

Eventually, I wore myself out so much that I couldn't fight against them anymore. When they were convinced that I wasn't going to try and make another break for the edge, Brittany held me close. As silent tears fell, I rested my head in the crook of Brittany's shoulder.

"Shhhh, let it all out" I heard her say and that was all I needed to hear.

I cried until all my tears were gone and then some. I cried for the times I wasn't allowed to make a sound and for the times I desperately wanted someone to see through my walls. No, not just see through, but break. Never once did anyone tell me to stop crying though. The three of them just told me to let it out. And I did. Finally, I no longer had any tears to shed.

"My arms hurt," I manage to whisper.

"I know, baby, I know. Let's go inside and get you cleaned up." Anna C said.

I must have nodded because the next thing I know I'm on my feet and my head is spinning. I almost fall but I think it was Alexis who caught me.

We go to Alexis and Anna's room while Brittany calls Kelley. A few minutes later Kelley walks in and looks at me. She asks me to open my eyes and move my fingers. She tells me I'm going to have to go to the hospital though, she says I lost a lot of blood and that the drugs and alcohol weren't helping. I want to protest but I'm too tired to even open my mouth. The ride in the ambulance was short. I was getting drowsy, but I remember being told to stay awake.

When we finally reach the hospital, I'm so tired. It's been a long day, and my head is swimming. Are the lights moving? I don't know. I hear someone shout to me, but it sounds like they're in another room. What was I supposed to be doing? Why am I still awake? I'm so tired. This bed is really comfy too. I think I'll just take a nice long nap here...

Before I black out, I hear someone shout my name. And then everything was black.

I wake up and Elizabeth is sitting next to me. I smile weakly but it hurts. Everything hurts as I remember what had just happened.

"How long have I been asleep?"

"2 days." Elizabeth says, taking a cup from Brittany as she enters the room. "The doctors wanted to keep you sedated for a while to flush out all of the drugs in your system and give you some much needed rest. We found your letter. Your father is being charged with domestic violence and abuse to a minor and your mother is being charged with negligent abuse. It's over. They can't hurt you anymore... Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry. I should have paid more attention."

"Stop. It's not your fault." I say, though my head pounds as I speak, "I've been hiding this from people for years. You never would have known. I didn't think anyone would. I thought I could control everything. The eating and other stuff. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to turn this project into such a mess."

"Don't apologize." She says kindly, "The movie will still go on. But your life? That's what counts the most."

"It shouldn't" I say, barely a whisper.

"Why would you say that?" Brittany asks, taking a seat.

"I can't even take care of myself. How am I expected to take care of anyone else?" I say bitterly, "I did before but that was when I could walk outside and pretend my life was perfect. Now I walk out and all anyone sees is the crazy girl with the messed up family. The family who broke their daughter. I don't want that I c-can't-"

"Shhh," Elizabeth says, "No one expects you to take care of anyone. You've built your walls so high you don't even know they're there. You're 17. You should be enjoying life, not hiding begins sarcasm and smiles and witty comebacks." Elizabeth shifts so that she's looking me in the eyes and grabs my hands. "We all love you and want you to be happy. We don't think of you any differently from when we first met. We're here for the long run and just want to see you happy and healthy."

"17?" I ask. _What?_

"Happy Birthday sweetheart." Elizabeth laughs.

As Elizabeth says that, Anna C walks in with a huge cake and seventeen candles on top. Behind her, the rest of the cast tries to fit into the tiny hospital room. Smiling I clap as everyone gets together and does the best a capella rendition of Happy Birthday I've ever heard.

When they finish, and they tell me to blow out the candles, I pause for a moment. However, I know exactly what I'll wish for. Blowing out the candles, I wish for a better tomorrow. The road to get here was hard, but you know what? For the first time in a long time, I think that everything might just turn out okay.

**A/N: Done! I don't know whether I'm going to make a sequel or if I'll start a new story. Tell me what you think and who I should ship!**


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